FRIES – tastes good even without ketchup and mayo

Author: Lynn
A to Z | Basics

What is FRIES?

FRIES is an abbreviation for one of the many consent guiding concepts in BDSM, which one can orientate and lean on. Such concepts facilitate communication, especially in new encounters, regarding how to engage in play together. Additionally, they provide newcomers with an overview of how to interact within the framework of BDSM and emphasize that BDSM is not just about passively accepting what is done to you or simply doing whatever one wants. These principles serve as a model and basis for the practice of sadomasochistic activities and the demarcation from legally relevant violence.

The most well-known concepts are SSC (safe, sane, consensual) and RACK (Risk aware, consensual, kink). There are also other models of consent, such as PRICK (Personal, responsible, informed, consensual, kink) and FRIES. However, since it is a relatively young concept, it is not yet as well known as its older siblings. It was developed by the American non-profit organization Planned Parenthood, probably around 2016, which promotes sexual education and development.

What does FRIES mean?

FRIES is an abbreviation made up of the first letters of certain aspects that can be used as a guideline in BDSM. Specifically, these points are:

F – Freely given: Consent from all parties was given voluntarily and without pressure.
R – Reversible: Consent can be revoked at any time.
I – Informed: All parties are informed about practices, their risks, and safety measures.
E – Enthusiastic: Parties are looking forward to play together. No one is doing anything solely for the sake of the other.
S – Specific: Consent is specific to a session/practice/duration and should not be construed as a general authorization.

FRIES is therefore a very modern concept that places great value on regular consent discussions and information security. Therefore it is also very suitable for beginners.

What does this mean in our interactions with each other?

Playing according to the FRIES concept means that planned practices are discussed in depth and there is agreement. In addition to the detailed explanation of what these practices entail, this also includes the clarification of soft and hard limits. It is then clearly regulated that and how consent can be withdrawn at any time, for example through a safe word or traffic light system. When everyone is ready, looking forward to the game and is aware that the agreements made have been defined for the upcoming session, we can get started.

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