What is BDSM?

Four letters, six terms…

The abbreviation comes from the initial letters of the English terms “Bondage and Discipline,” “Dominance and Submission,” and “Sadism and Masochism.” This encompasses a range of sexual practices that are related and often considered unusual by the general public. From an outsider’s perspective, BDSM play can be hard to understand due to its perceived harshness and is often clouded by many prejudices, as it doesn’t fit the image of sexuality as a loving act. In reality, BDSM is much more than just the exertion of physical or mental force and the infliction of pain. On the contrary, this type of eroticism requires a deep connection and an enlightened relationship between the participants.

At Deviance, it’s about everyone who voluntarily and consciously enters a power dynamic out of equality, from which all sides derive pleasure. Consent to a consensual play can only be given by those who can sufficiently assess the consequences of their agreement. Therefore, we recommend that every individual and BDSM enthusiast seek ample information.

What is there to know about the acronym BDSM?

The six terms refer to a whole range of physical and psychological practices that are based on an agreed and deliberately induced power imbalance between two or more people. This power imbalance is usually preceded by careful discussions about desirable and undesirable practices before the actual practice, the “play”, takes place.

All types of play can serve to increase sexual pleasure and arousal, but they don’t have to. Since the areas merge seamlessly into one another, the many individual practices can rarely be assigned to just one BDSM sub-area and very few followers practice one of the aspects in its pure form, we will keep it short:

The B in BDSM: Bondage

Bondage is primarily about various types of restraint practices, sometimes more or less with the aim of making the other person or oneself immobile and giving sexual pleasure to the person being tied up and the person doing the tying up. This includes, for example, bondage with the help of ropes, handcuffs, leather cuffs or spreader bars, but also on bondage furniture such as pillories or a St. Andrew’s cross. The Japanese “Shibari” is particularly widespread in the BDSM scene, a special style of bondage in which certain ropes are tied up artfully and carefully according to certain rules.

The first meaning of the D: Discipline

Discipline in BDSM refers to an inclination in which discipline or chastisement of a partner is used for mutual pleasure. This includes both physical SM practices, for example with toys such as whips, canes or even the bare hand. But other types of punishment, such as tunnel games or setting rules, also fall into the discipline category.

A pair of that belong together: Dominance and Submission

Dominance and submission revolve around the conscious and consensual creation of unequal power relations in the play of two or more partners. The power imbalance can exist for a short time or for the duration of a session or even as the basis of an entire relationship. The range is very wide and individual. Dominance and submission primarily emphasizes the psychological aspects of a power relationship and, in contrast to sadism and masochism or even bondage, can take place entirely in the mind. For this reason, symbols such as collars can play an important role in underpinning power relationships. However, physical aspects such as corporal punishment are usually an essential part of D/s.

The dominant partner, often referred to as the Dom or Top in BDSM, determines what happens during play with their submissive partner, Sub or Bottom. Examples of D/s practices include submission and educational games, pet play, sexual rejection, starting with tease and denial games through to cuckold constellations and playful enslavement, which is sometimes permanently integrated into everyday life for some 24/7. Especially in the more psychologically demanding types of play, the Dom is required to take care of their partner both physically and psychologically.

Switchers, or switches for short, are a special form of this division into dom and sub, who can take on both roles at different times or with different people.

S and M: short for Sadism and Masochism

Also known boldly as “sadomasochism”, the combination of the two terms sadism and masochism is probably the best-known sub-area of BDSM and is usually equated with it in public perception. The term itself is not clearly defined in colloquial or clinical usage.

Essentially, sadomasochism is a sexual deviance in which a person experiences pleasure by inflicting or receiving pain. Sadomasochism often involves the use of percussive instruments such as whips or canes. In contrast to discipline, where pain is more of a means to an end, sadomasochism focuses on the eroticization of pain.

The term is clearly distinguished from violence, which, in contrast to sadomasochism, takes place without consent. Sadomasochists are those psychologically inconspicuous people who, contrary to prejudice, are not prone to violence and live out their not-so-straightforward sexuality on a completely voluntary basis.

What needs to be considered in BDSM

It’s important for all parties involved to make prior agreements on how far to go, which practices to include or exclude, and most importantly, the purpose behind them. Therefore, it’s crucial to first clarify and articulate one’s own needs. The specific category of BDSM these fall under plays a relatively minor role in execution and experience.

Far more important is detailed discussion about the desires of all participants, the planned activities, and their boundaries. Shame and social desirability have no place in such conversations. While safer sex should be a given, BDSM activities also require additional safety measures that participants should thoroughly discuss. Communication and safety are paramount in BDSM.

Moreover, anyone engaging in a power dynamic must have the freedom to withdraw consent at any time, often signaled by a well-known safeword. Just as in life, listening to one’s own feelings is crucial in BDSM. If something doesn’t feel right for any reason—whether it’s a conversation, action, or person—it’s better to steer clear immediately.

That’s essentially it. As mentioned earlier, the spectrum is broad, and the terms are often intertwined. It’s sometimes unclear what constitutes a kink versus a fetish versus vanilla practices. For those wanting to learn more about BDSM, this magazine provides further helpful information on various inclinations, fetishes, roles, the BDSM scene, and many other useful tips for BDSM enthusiasts and those curious to explore it.