A short guide to prostate massage

Author: Lynn
A to Z | Kinks

A popular practice in the BDSM area is prostate massage, often referred to as “milking”, because it enables biologically male people to reach orgasm without stimulation of the penis. Or to ejaculation without orgasm. If it sounds nasty, it is. Femdom and Deviance author Lynn explains how prostate massage is performed.

This text entitled “Prostate Massages” first appeared on the blog Zartbitternacht and was provided to Deviance by the operators Lynn and Zaxi.


The anatomy of the prostate

The job of the prostate, also known as the prostate gland, is to produce parts of the seminal fluid. Their function is controlled by testosterone. The prostate is one of the male’s internal sexual organs, as are the testicles, epididymis, vas deferens, and seminal vesicles and smaller glands surrounding the urethra. You probably all know the external ones well enough, don’t you?

Normally, the prostate is about the size and volume of a walnut. It is located between the urinary bladder and the pelvic floor. Behind her lies the rectum, in front of her the lower edge of the pubic bone. Because the prostate is located below the urinary bladder directly in front of the rectum, it is easily accessible from the rectum. And that’s exactly why anal games with the lords of creation are so much fun.

The prostate is involved in sperm production, ejaculation and hormone metabolism. As already mentioned, their main job is to produce secretions. The prostate secretion is milky-cloudy, quite thin and contains enzymes with important tasks, such as prostate phosphatase and PSA, which serves to liquefy the sperm.

What happens when doing a prostate massage?

During ejaculation, impulses from the sympathetic nerve activate various muscles. As a result, the vas deferens press the sperm through small channels and the seminal vesicles press their secretion into a specific section of the urethra. The prostate secretion is also pushed there.

At the same time, the muscles of the prostate and bladder now ensure that the sperm, which consists of the mixed fluids, does not reach the urinary bladder. Then ejaculation is triggered: the pelvic floor muscles and the muscles around the inner parts of the erectile tissue contract and push the sperm out through the urethra. The man cums.

Every beginning is difficult

So first of all I can reassure you, the beginning is not easy and frustrating and it took me longer to go from prostate stimulation to prostate orgasms. I didn’t have the strength in my fingers at first, or rather the stamina, before I ran out of strength. So it’s not because of your skill or because you’re being stupid, it just takes a little practice and time.

The prostate can be easily felt. It is about the length of your index finger deep inside on the top, i.e. towards the abdominal wall. About a walnut-sized, slightly harder piece of tissue with a slightly different structure than the rest of the skin. This doesn’t have to be in the middle, it can also be slightly offset to the left or right.

Cross-section of the prostate (highlighted in red). Entry point is at the lower right.
Source: Wikimedia Commons, created by Mikael Häggström, MD.

The angle is good if your fingers don’t break and you hit well. It is therefore important to find out exactly where the prostate is located. On my partner it is slightly to the left, so from right to left and not straight and slightly upwards. Sounds more complicated than it is.

Found. And now?

In fact, massage is the correct term. If you have experience in hand and foot massage, that will be very helpful. In my experience, light circular movements with pressure are well received. A “beckoning” movement with your fingers can also be a pleasant stimulation. With thrusting movements I bring my sub to orgasm quite reliably after a previous massage. The most important thing is, as always, communication. Just ask him how it feels.

Tips and advice on prostate massage

Especially at the beginning, I recommend short fingernails and plenty of time. If he has no experience with anal stimulation, patience and lubricant are the most important things. With an anal douche or an enema beforehand, the whole thing becomes a clean affair. Personally, I’m also a big fan of gloves. Vaseline maintains lubrication for a particularly long time without having to be relubricated.

I find access to be easiest when kneeling on all fours in front of you, but you’ll have to find that out for yourself. If you don’t have enough strength in your fingers, a narrow dildo can help. As always, the most important thing is communication and practice. I wish you a lot of fun.


Disclaimer: Not all men have penises, testicles and prostates and not all who have penises, testicles and prostates are men.

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