Lynn – From a dingy dungeon to a wine bar

Author: Lynn
BDSM & Society | Stories

For International Women’s Day, in this series the members of the Deviance team introduce themselves and tell us what drives them. This time: Author Lynn about her own project, the #KinkSisters , and how it made her part of another project.


How a social gathering turned into a job

BDSM is perverse, sick and mean, is practiced by shady people and only involves hitting, screaming and pee to do? Behind closed doors, in dark places, with immoral people in paint and leather? So much for the cliché. I don’t like clichés. So, generally. Our lives are constantly determined by pigeonholes and categories, music taste and hairstyles make us characters, force us into groups or tell us what is expected of us.

Who am I? I keep my nose in books. I can’t go anywhere without a notebook because I’m always writing. Books, blogs, notes, diary – it doesn’t matter. The main thing is words. Gardening is fun for me, Indian food is just love. I would like to have a house on rough cliffs eroded by sea water, alone in the middle of nowhere, a vegetable garden, an open fireplace, a few chickens and still good WiFi.

I love cuddly socks, knitted by Mom. My favorite ice cream is peppermint, I adore dry red wine, and in the evening, I quite enjoy spanking my husband.

The great, mythical BDSM scene, this legendary elitist construct that seems so inviting on the one hand and so closed on the other, that wasn’t mine. BDSM though, that’s mine. I’ve been living this longer than I even know there’s a name for it.

Share experiences, grow together

My experience is that a lot of people felt this way. That there was something that was different, deviated from the norm. That you couldn’t name this “something” correctly. Didn’t know who to talk to about it. I started being really active, reading a lot, exchanging ideas and thinking about things, continuing my education and dealing with new practices around 14 years ago. About two years ago, I somehow felt the desire to pass this on. To significantly increase the radius within which I can exchange ideas. To share my knowledge and learn from other people.

With a person who has become very important to me, I decided to give in to this desire. Frankly, the person was a very driving force for this. Before, I thought I couldn’t achieve something like that or that I simply wasn’t interesting enough to share my knowledge with others. The result of our ideas and dreams became our own BDSM munch. One of my own that didn’t have BDSM as the headline, but rather relaxed and relaxed.

Like a cultivated evening with friends who all happen to be a bit kinky.

With whom you can simply stay relaxed if you want to talk about sex. Where there are no eyes wide open because somehow everyone doesn’t just have vanilla experiences – or at least would like to. The #KinkSisters were born.

An evening with consequences

This meeting in a wine bar was intended to set the course for a new phase of my life. I didn’t see that coming. But without this regulars’ table I wouldn’t be part of Deviance today, because next to me that evening was Marina. We had a good connection, that mix of similarities and differences that makes it possible to understand each other well and be on the same wave, despite having different opinions and experiences has. She talked about Deviance, this project that she was putting together and doing it with such passion and glow that it was contagious. There was something about it that stuck with me.

We kept in touch loosely, and one evening during a phone call I simply asked, “When you’re looking for people, do you think of me?” Well, three days later I signed my contract.

7 months later…

Jetzt hab ich das große Glück, mit sehr tollen Menschen zu arbeiten, in einer Atmosphäre, in der ich mich unglaublich wohl fühle. In der ich etwas tun kann, wofür ich brenne. Was meinen eigenen Herzensangelegenheiten entgegen kommt. Mit Kolleginnen, die ich schon bevor ich sie persönlich kannte, gefangirlt habe.

I believe that if your profession is a calling, it greatly affects your personal satisfaction.

Because I don’t work for a company, for a boss, for a salary, but for a cause that I believe in. Which is also important to me. Now I have the opportunity to take the entire BDSM scene out of its dirty corner and present it as it is: diverse, exciting, individual, respectful.

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