Section

Basics

Sub drop: reaching the lowest point

Despite all precautions, BDSM doesn’t always go smoothly. Here you’ll learn what’s behind a sub drop and what causes it.

by KatKristall | A to Z, Basics

Queer: a change of perspective

When you start to explore BDSM and the BDSM community, one of the terms you come across is ‘queer’. But what does that actually mean?

by Deviance | A to Z, Basics

How to get covered properly

” ‘to cover’ in the context of dating refers to securing oneself through informed third parties. This is rarely done today by an old-fashioned chaperone but rather by a trusted person who is informed, along with some thoughtful strategies and a mobile phone. Because issues with dates can happen to anyone, regardless of sexual orientation […]

by KatKristall | A to Z, Basics

What does CNC (consensual non-consent) mean?

CNC stands for consensual non-consent, meaning the desire for something to happen against one’s will. Find out what this can look like here.

by Kitteh | A to Z, Basics

Session: it’s time to play!

What exactly is a session? We explain what is meant by the term in BDSM and whether you have to schedule being “kinky.”

by Kitteh | A to Z, Basics

I just want to: play!

Why is the term “play” or “play partner” often used in BDSM? While it sounds better than “doing BDSM”, not everyone likes the term.

by Lynn | A to Z, Basics

Power dynamic – the heart of each BDSM activity

Power dynamic is one of the most important concepts, the central element of any BDSM relationship or activity, distinguishing it from fetishes and kinks.

by Kitteh | A to Z, Basics

Sadism: The second S in BDSM

Sadism refers to the often sexual pleasure derived from inflicting pain. Where does it come from and how is sadism practiced in BDSM?

by KatKristall | A to Z, Basics

Masochism: The M in BDSM

Masochism describes the sexual pleasure derived from suffering and pain. But why do some people enjoy it, and where does this preference come from?

by Lynn | A to Z, Basics

Discipline – The first D in BDSM

The D in BDSM stands for “Discipline,” among other things, and similar to Dominance, it involves following rules. But where is the difference?

by Kitteh | A to Z, Basics

Perverse – wrong, twisted, unacceptable?

The term “perverse” originally means “turned around” or “reversed”. The adjective is often used in a sexual context.

by KatKristall | A to Z, Basics

Dominance: Something like leadership quality?

Dominance is one of the six major areas and, along with “Discipline,” is behind the D in BDSM. And yet, dominance can manifest itself in various ways.

by Marina | A to Z, Basics

Aftercare – What it comes down to

Aftercare refers to the mutual psychological and emotional support of the players immediately after a BDSM session by talking about and reflecting on the experience.

by Kitteh | A to Z, Basics

Submission – The fine art of surrender

In exploring the concept of submission, one delves into the dynamics of power and trust within interpersonal relationships. A conscious decision to relinquish control or authority.

by Lynn | A to Z, Basics

Limits: hard and soft, but always important

In BDSM, setting limits establishes the framework within which play occurs. There are distinctions between hard and soft limits, which exist on both the submissive and dominant sides.

by Marina | A to Z, Basics

Wannabe Dom: Delving into the realm of pretentious dominance

Entering the BDSM scene, both offline and online, you often come across the term ‘Wannabe Dom’. What does it mean?

by Deviance | A to Z, Basics

How kink shaming creates additional barriers

Kink shaming describes the devaluation of a person based on their sexual preferences and is also frequently encountered within the BDSM community.

by Ginger San | A to Z, Basics

What does polyamory have to do with BDSM?

Polyamory describes a form of love life very common in BDSM circles, where a person has, loves, and maintains relationships with multiple partners.

by Marina | A to Z, Basics

Kinky – a bend in sexuality

In general language usage, “kinky” describes sexual practices, concepts, or fantasies that are considered unusual by the majority.

by Marina | A to Z, Basics

The Ring of O – History and meaning

The Ring of O gained its importance with the film adaptation of the “Story of the O”. Today the ring is a symbol of BDSM adherents all over the world.

by Ginger San | A to Z, Basics

The basic of playing: Consent

Since BDSM games can often be uncomfortable, painful, or even dangerous, consent in BDSM has a special significance.

by Ginger San | A to Z, Basics

What the famous safeword is all about

One of the terms that enjoys great popularity outside the BDSM world is the safeword, which indicates the termination of a session.

by Marina | A to Z, Basics

Behind the shadows: What is FetLife actually?

You might have heard of FetLife before but couldn’t find it online? We’ll explain why.

by Marina | A to Z, Basics

Vanilla isn’t everyone’s flavor. And that’s fine.

A term to differentiate oneself. However, there are different interpretations of what exactly that means. Much of what was once considered kinky is also practiced by vanillas.