The Middle perspective

Author: Ginger San
A to Z | Roles


The role of the Middle…

…describes a person who identifies with a younger way of thinking around the age of a teenager or who displays corresponding behavior and is looking for a relationship with a caring but also strict parental figure. The English term “middle” classifies the role with the invented age between Little and Grown-Up.

As a Middle, it is possible for a person to feel like a teenager again. The perceived age is usually between eleven and 17 and stereotypically youthful behavior is displayed in the role. This can include listening to teenage music, wearing conspicuous clothing or even pubertal mood swings. Just like with real teenagers, sexual activity is not necessarily present, but is always decided on a case-by-case basis. In their role, the Middles usually look for an adult caregiver who will treat them protectively but also strictly put them in their place.

The “middlespace” refers to the emotional world in which the Middles define themselves at a young age. In middlespace, Middles can completely forget their everyday lives and their actual age and feel like teenagers. Outside of middlespace, Middles can also live a “normal” life with their true age.

In their role, Middles can relieve stress and let go. The fun in playing with a dominant counterpart arises from the power difference from the authority figure to the Middle. Role-playing also gives most Middles a rare sense of security.

Which roles are similar?

A Middle is part of the subordinate role family with Sub and Bottom and is generally assigned to the age players. The role of Little is very similar, although much younger at the imaginary age, with baby boy and baby girl as special characteristics. Middles in particular who want to be raised strictly are usually also Masochists.

Which roles match?

A Middle needs a higher-level reference person from the Dom or Top group to provide a sense of security. The role of Mommy or Daddy is best suited for this, which is where the CGM (Caregiver-Middle) game comes from. With the dominant role, the Middle will also argue and test the boundaries, as is typical for a teenager.

How do I know if I’m a Middle?

If you still feel the youthful part of your personality that you finally want to live out freely, then this role is interesting for you. You must also wish to act in a youthful, playful and inexperienced manner and to place yourself in the care of someone you trust.

As a Middle it is important that…

…you are careful when choosing a partner and only enter your middlespace with the right partner. You should also clearly communicate your boundaries and wishes to your Caregiver. This also includes whether you, as a Middle, see sexual practices as part of the game or not. If you suspect that your desire to be a Middle may have been caused by trauma in your youth, we recommend not playing but seeking psychological counseling first. But as a mentally healthy person, you can live out your dreams with the right person as a Middle.

Additionally, you shouldn’t let kink shaming unsettle you. Ageplay games in particular are met with a lot of incomprehension because they are often assumed to involve the sexualization of children. Both within the BDSM scene and from other possible partners. Explain to people objectively why you like to do what you do, how you feel about it, and why you want to externalize your childlike aspects. And above all, that your preferences do not affect those of others. Because “your kink is not my kink, but your kink is okay!”.


This is an important difference to the so-called Daddy-Kink, a kind of trend from the USA. One of the best-known forms of the caregiver-little game, CGL for short, is the constellation of Daddy Dom and Little Girl, DDLG for short or, to clarify the two statuses of top and bottom, often spelled DD/lg. This type of play has found its way into the mainstream via social media as daddy kink and keeps popping up as a fuzzy term. Sexy role-play, a là older, caring man meets young, vulnerable girl, is thus immediately labeled as daddy kink. These role-playing games may also have their appeal in the vanilla version, but without the element of a clear power imbalance and without a clearly defined framework, they are a rather long way from a real daddy kink.

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