Dom: short for dominant

Author: Ginger San
A to Z | Roles


The abbreviation of dominant

A term that is also very well known outside the BDSM world. For dominant personalities, Dom is therefore the most common choice in the active role category. A Dom exerts control in a play or long-term relationship. Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual or a combination of several aspects. “Dominant” is actually gender-neutral, but the abbreviation is usually used to refer to a male-identified person, while the terms domme and femdom have become established for female doms.

What roles is a Dom related to?

The transition to other dominant roles is fluid. Many behaviors and preferred practices of a Top, Daddy/Mommy, Master/Mistress, Handler or Disciplinarian are similar to those of a Dom or are part of a Dom personality. Depending on the kinks practiced, Doms can also become hotwifes/cuckoldresses.

Who fits in?

Many submissive roles such as bottom, sub or serf, where the psychological component is emphasized, harmonize well with doms. Some Doms also like to be challenged by a Brat or to take care of a Little. Doms with a sadistic streak also get along well with masochists.

How do I know if I’m a Dom?

You probably feel the need to take control without compulsively controlling someone else. You like to give instructions that correspond to the wishes of the submissive part or several partners. You are ready to take on responsibility without exploiting it. If you understand the small but subtle difference, you may be suitable for the role of Dom.

As a Dom it is important that…

…you deal carefully with the wishes and needs of the people who want to submit to you and respect their boundaries. Even if a Dom derives satisfaction from performing his or her role, he or she never acts selfishly, but rather in the interests of other people. It is also important that you listen carefully to the other person, are open and receptive to feedback and are willing to develop yourself further. Because as the dominant player, you always have the interests of both in mind.

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