The popular term “Sub”

Author: Marina
A to Z | Roles


Sub is short for Submissive

The term pair Dom and Sub is probably one of the most common ones encountered in BDSM and, thanks to a more or less popular bestseller, it enjoys a certain attractiveness even outside the BDSM world. In fact, the two roles are very common in the scene, as they mainly describe a character attitude and therefore offer a lot of scope for development.

The term Sub is gender-neutral and short for submissive. In English, “submissive” is also used as an adjective for character, while in German the description “devot” is more common. Unlike Bottom, the term does not refer to the general status of a players, but above all emphasizes the character of submissiveness. Nevertheless, the range can range from purely psychological dominance, to which a sub wants to surrender, to very physical submission with penalties are enough. Sub is, above all, an attitude. And therefore a very complex and highly individual role.

Which roles are similar to a Sub?

Sub is closely related to the roles Bottom and Serf, although not the same. Physical subs are Masochists or Spankees very close. Subs with a penchant for Humiliation can use Degrades , Sissy, Cuckolds and Cuckqueans. Subs who like to challenge dominant personalities are called Brats. And subs with a childlike tendency and the need to be protected and cared for feel very comfortable as Little, Baby Girl or Baby Boy.

Who matches with a Sub?

Of course, a Dom. However, since the types of games can be very different, Masters or Mistresses, Sadists, Disciplinarians, Degrader, Spanker and Cuckoldresses provide interesting ideas. Subs with a childlike tendency also harmonize well with protective loving roles of a Daddy or Mommy or Caregiver.

How do I know if i am a Sub?

The role primarily emphasizes the psychological or character component. This means that if you feel the desire to mentally give yourself to someone, to trustingly give up some control and to serve intrinsically, then you are probably a sub. The attitude counts!

How much authority or control you are willing to give up and for how long, whether around the clock or just during a session, is up to you. Submissives are not necessarily submissive in every situation, but they usually know exactly what they want. Even if it is common, there is no such thing as real or fake subs. How someone is in everyday life has nothing to do with their BDSM personality. Therefore, the opposite applies: Just because someone may be shy and submissive in normal life does not necessarily mean that this person is also submissive in a sexual context.

As a Sub, it’s important that…

…you communicate your wishes, needs and Boundaries clearly to your Top counterpart and communicate exactly what you expect from a session not how long it should last and what practices you want. To do this, you have to be clear about your wishes. It is also important that you take the wishes of the other person seriously in order to meet on a level from which everyone derives maximum benefit.

It is often said that Subs are actually the dominant parts, as they define the scope of behavior and the boundaries. Therefore, Subs have an equally high level of responsibility, which is carried primarily through clear and concise communication. And also about being able to say no. This starts when someone treats you disrespectfully, tries to tell you what a real sub should be like, or even thinks that your role has the right to be intrusive. Hands off.

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