Inside the mind of a Cuckold or Cuckquean

Author: Marina
A to Z | Roles


What is this and where does the term come from?

A cuckold or cuckquean is a person who enjoys the humiliation or voyeuristic experience of watching or knowing their partner has sex with another person.

“Cuck” is derived from “cuckoo” and refers to the phrase “cuckoo child,” meaning a child that is foisted onto a man for upbringing, even though it was conceived with another man. Later, a “cuckold” came to refer to a man who knowingly tolerates his wife’s lover.

From the 16th century, “cuckolding” described various forms of non-monogamous relationships. “Cuckquean” is the female counterpart to the term, meaning a woman who is being cheated on. For both genders, the affectionate short form “Cucki” or “Cuck” is also used.

With the introduction of the term “cuckolding” into the BDSM scene, a reinterpretation has taken place. In this context, the cuckold or cuckquean is aroused by their partner having one or more lovers and by being sexually dominated by their partners, often extending to daily life domination. This deliberately chosen submissiveness often also extends to the lover to enhance the erotic element of humiliation.

The male version, the role of the cuckold, is much more common than the female counterpart. The game can go so far that the cuck or cuckquean takes on a serving role and, for example, sexually prepares the partner for the affair, cleans the intimate areas of both after intercourse, and is kept permanently chaste themselves. The dominant part continually tells the cuck through words and actions that they are not sufficient or suitable for fulfilling the sexual desires.

What roles are cucks related to?

Most cuckis display submissive behavior and can therefore also be classified as bottoms, subs or serfs. In addition, their behavior is similar to that of the voyeur. Since they also find humiliation eroticizing, they can also be degrades or be trained to be sissy. Many cuckolds and cuckqueans are also masochists.

But: Not all cucks are consistently submissive. Male cuckolds in particular are often switches and enjoy dominating their partner in a similar way to the bull during sexual intercourse.

Who is a match for a cuckold or a cuckquean?

Certainly, a dominant person is a clear match for a cuckold or a cuckquean. For male Doms or Masters who keep a cuckold or a cuckquean, there isn’t a dedicated term yet. For the most common form, heterosexual male cuckold, the corresponding counterpart is a hotwife or a cuckoldress, which refers to dominant women who also identify as Dom or Mistress. Depending on the desired level of humiliation or the extent of accompanying masochism, there may be overlaps with degraders and sadists in the counterpart.

The third person who engages in sex with the dominant partner is called Bull in the male version and Cuckcake in the female version.

How do I know if I’m a cuckold or a cuckquean?

Are you excited by the thought of watching your partner having sex with others? Maybe you even want this pleasure to be withheld from you? Your fantasies revolve around receiving attention in the form of humiliation? Do you see it as your job to ensure the sexual fulfillment of your partner through others and do you believe that you can’t do it yourself? Well then, the situation is actually pretty clear.

As a cuck it is important that…

…you know your psychological boundaries, communicate clearly and your partner ensures that they are adhered to. Playing with humiliation and third parties in a relationship is primarily psychological and as such always has a grueling potential.

In a cuckold relationship, honesty must also be a top priority. Because what looks like cheating from the outside is actually a complex game that is based on deep trust and in which secrets between partners are taboo. Because in contrast to cheating, the cuckold or cuckquean is always part of the event and is involved in the form of provocation or humiliation.

You should also be careful when it comes to real jealousy. A little bit of jealousy in the cucki can make the game even sweeter for him or her. But if the feelings of jealousy outweigh the feelings of satisfaction, an open and honest conversation and perhaps even a break are necessary.


The vocabulary around “Cuckold,” “Hotwife” or “Cuckoldress,” and “Bull” usually refers to a constellation involving a heterosexual dominant man (Bull), a heterosexual female Dom or switch, and a heterosexual submissive man, as the cuckold fantasy is most common among the latter.

While over time the term “cuckquean” has become established for female cuckolds and the term “cuckcake” for the female equivalent of a bull, there is still no term for male doms with a cuck partner. According to current knowledge, there are also no gender-neutral names for the three roles for non-binary people with an interest in cuckolding.

Discover more about

Share The Article

You could also be into