Parental Care: Mommy and Daddy

Author: Ginger San
A to Z | Roles


What defines a Mommy or Daddy?

A Mommy or Daddy is a person who takes on a parental, caring role within a relationship dynamic and within the context of ageplay. Gender-neutrally, this person is referred to as a “Caregiver”. That reveals a lot about the role of Mommies or Daddies and their tasks.

As a Caregiver, the person takes on a very responsible role: you look after your “Little”, give him or her the necessary attention and often look after the other person around the clock. In the position of Mommy or Daddy you can face a wide variety of tasks. This range of tasks can range from blaming and praising to cooking food and dressing to personal hygiene such as changing diapers and brushing teeth.

What is characteristic of this role is that the Mommy’s or Daddy’s zone of control can extend far beyond the sexual. Often a kind of 24/7 relationship develops, whereby caring for the Little one is necessary at all times in every life situation.

What appeals to Mommies and Daddies about this type of role play is the extreme power imbalance, which can extend beyond the sessions into everyday life and must be treated with caution. The Mommies or Daddies are often of the utmost importance to their Littles, who would be helpless without them.

Which roles are similar?

Mommies and Daddies are characterized as dominant or superior people and can be assigned to the top or dom types. However, the way in which power is exercised differs significantly from the stereotypical images of Tops, Doms or Masters/Mistresses, as there is a much greater focus on nurturing. In Caregiver-Little relationships in which physical punishment is integrated, Sadists also find themselves in the Mommy or Daddy role.

Which roles match with a Mommy or Daddy?

Baby Girls and Baby Boys, i.e. subtypes of Subs or Bottoms, as well as Littles and Middles, are ideal for a Mommy or a Daddy. They often assign themselves to a certain age, such as small children or schoolchildren, and then behave accordingly, which in turn determines the tasks for the caregiver.

How do I know if I’m a Mommy or a Daddy?

The clear desire to care for someone or to be there often indicates a predisposition towards being a caregiver. If you care for someone and want to exercise a responsible form of control, you fit well into the role of Mommy or Daddy. But you have to be able to take your role as a role model seriously and be up to the great responsibility that comes your way.

As a Mommy or Daddy it is important that…

…you are definitely aware of your responsible role. You must neither exploit nor neglect your position, because Littles are often weak and fragile in their role and require extremely careful action. Sometimes littles reject their sexuality completely; of course, you have to take such wishes seriously and respect them. If you trust yourself with this great responsibility, then nothing will stand in your way as a Mommy or Daddy.

Also, you shouldn’t let yourself be unsettled by kink-shaming. Ageplay in particular receives a lot of misunderstanding, as it’s often assumed to sexualize children. Both within the BDSM community and by potential partners. Explain to people in a factual manner why you enjoy what you do, what you feel about it, and how in this play, you can outwardly express your nurturing aspects. And above all, emphasize that your preferences don’t affect others. Because “your kink is not my kink, but your kink is okay!”


This is an important difference to the so-called Daddy-Kink, a kind of trend from the USA. One of the best-known forms of the caregiver-little game, CGL for short, is the constellation of Daddy Dom and Little Girl, DDLG for short or, to clarify the two statuses of top and bottom, often spelled DD/lg. This type of play has found its way into the mainstream via social media as daddy kink and keeps popping up as a fuzzy term. Sexy role-play, a là older, caring man meets young, vulnerable girl, is thus immediately labeled as daddy kink. These role-playing games may also have their appeal in the vanilla version, but without the element of a clear power imbalance and without a clearly defined framework, they are a rather long way from a real daddy kink.

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